I Believe the Robots Are Our Future

"'I Believe the Robots Are Our Future,' an editorial by Helen Virginia Liedermeyer." 5 min., 14 seconds. The Onion's Finest News Reporting, Volume One. A Random House Audiobook, RH895, one cassette. Maria Schneider as Helen Liedermeyer. "The Onion's Finest News Reporting is also available on compact disc and in paperback from Three Rivers Press" (box cover). http://www.theonion.com.

Satire in the form of a mushy liberal editorial on the necessity of robot self-esteem and knowledge of being loved, presented with high-tech vocabulary and written by people highly literate in S.F. conventions and clichés. Ms. Liedermeyer argues that robots are our children and we "must teach them well and let them lead the way." Other S.F. themes and motifs utilized: robots as eventual "overlords of the Solar System," "Mech wars," cybernetic beings' superiority to humans and other aspects of the silicon/carbon conflict, battle 'droids, robotic hive minds, self-manufacture of robots as "artificial lifeforms." If we fail in our duty to love and educate our robot progeny, our future humans will be collar-wearing slaves, tortured by robots. (RDE, 26/04/01)